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Fitness Photo Journal - Conclusion

It's been a long journey, but I am happy to say I did it! I reached my weight loss goal of 135 lbs mid March.  I've learned so much about myself along the way.

I've learned that I am more resilient, stronger and more determined at 44 than I was at 24.

I've learned that it is unrealistic to expect that I can return to my 24 year old self, and that I can celebrate my curvy hips and the little pooch of fat on my stomach that I've made peace with. I've realized that these are marks of womanhood, of motherhood, and that there are genetics at play that we cannot change, no matter how we may try. And that's okay.

I've learned about how to eat for health. And I've learned that there is a time to indulge as well - so yes, I will go and have a celebratory bowl of Jeni's salted caramel ice cream as a treat, thank you!

I've learned that I am an athlete (!) I am running at a speed of 6.0 for 30 minutes straight. I am lifting weights, in spinning classes, doing circuit training and exercises to strengthen my core. 

I've learned not to be daunted by even the most overwhelming of goals - just about anything you want to accomplish in life can be done if you break it apart into pieces and take it a step at a time!

I've learned that there is no adversity that I cannot handle, that I am stronger than I thought, braver than I believed, and more resilient than I expected.

I've learned to walk into the gym when I am feeling tired, exhausted, and emotionally spent, and yet, replace all of that with a single thought when I start running: "Bring it!"

I've learned that running takes me to a place where I feel free, at peace, and powerful.

I've learned to love the muscled curves of my body and to be proud of every last moment of sweat and toil it took to get me there.

I've learned that getting to 135 was never about 135 being my ideal weight, it was about me accomplishing a goal I set for myself and knowing that I was able to do it. So if I go up or down 5 pounds on the scale - it doesn't matter. What matters is that I am consistently making healthy dietary choices, that I am in oxygen as often as I can be and making fitness a regular part of my life.

And finally, I've learned that I don't want to go back to being my 24 year old self, that I would not trade two decades of wisdom and the satisfaction of being a confident, happy and independent woman for my 24 year old body.

So if you've been with me each step of the way - thank you for sharing in my journey and for your support! Here is the photo update; hope you had a happy easter! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Purdah I, by Imtiaz Dharker

 

Purdah I, by Imtiaz Dharker | Illustration by Alessandro Gottardo

Purdah I
One day they said
she was old enough to learn some shame.
She found it came quite naturally.

Purdah is a kind of safety.
The body finds a place to hide.
The cloth fans out against the skin

much like the earth falls
on coffins after they put the dead men in.

People she has known
stand up, sit down as they have always done.

But they make different angles
in the light, their eyes aslant,
a little sly.

She half-remembers things
from someone else’s life,
Perhaps from yours, or mine –

carefully carrying  what we do not own:
between the thighs, a sense of sin.

We sit still, letting the cloth grow
a little closer to our skin.
A light filters inward
through our bodies’ walls.

Voices speak inside us,
echoing in the spaces we have just left.

She stands outside herself,
sometimes in all four corners of a room.

Wherever she goes, she is always
inching past herself,
as if she were a clod of earth
and the roots as well,
scratching for a hold
between the first and second rib.

Passing constantly out of her own hands
into the corner of someone else’s eyes…

while doors keep opening
inward and again
inward.

Fitness Photojournal - Update

Weigh in today was 137.5 pounds, 1.5 pounds away from goal! I've made a few more changes to my diet/exercise. I'll start with diet. Breakfast is a protein shake (a single scoop of Pure Protein Vanilla Cream, 75% water, 25% 50-cal OJ), followed by a handful of raw almonds and raisins. Then a cup of antioxidant rich green tea. Mid morning snack is an apple or a tangerine, and maybe a flat spelt seed cracker. Lunch today was quinoa salad, with cooked quinoa, chopped bell pepper, tomatoes and matchstick carrots tossed with a little lemon juice, and another piece of fruit. Mid afternoon snack is an apple on the drive home, and then a rice cake spread with almond butter, and sliced cucumbers. I also invested in a Nutribullet, and have been drinking green smoothies for dinner, filled with either spinach or swiss chard, and whatever fruits I have on hand: banana, mango, plus strawberries, blueberries or raspberries, a sprinkling of almonds, a tablespoon of ground flaxseed or chia seeds. My doctor was happy with my results but has ordered me to increase my carb/protein intake so I'll be adding egg whites for breakfast, plus going with a hummus and veggie wrap for lunch. I'm also drinking lots of water and herbal teas.Basically I need to add a little good carb and protein since I am so active now, and the weight training requires it to prevent muscle loss, and keep my metabolism from slowing down. I'm also taking a multivitamin and a skin/hair/nails supplement containing collagen and biotin.

My exercise regimen is still 5-6 days per week, with spinning class monday nights, and running alternated with walking on the treadmill every other night, but I've increased speed to 6.0 for 30 minutes straight - was so proud of that achievement, never having been much of a runner!

I am still doing cybex machines but have added plenty of core exercises - planks, brazilian butt lifts and free weights plus squats and lunges. I do upper body/torso or trunk on nights that I run/spin. If I'm walking, I'll do the lower body. One of the personal trainers who is working on his certification at the gym was kind enough to offer to train me for free when he has spare time so he's been working with me and putting me through some cross fit training here and there.

All in all, I'm a very happy girl when it comes to the progress I've made. This pic was actually taken a month ago so I do need to update with a new pic - but for now this will have to do. Work has been really crazy and I haven't had a lot of free time so will update with new pics the first chance I get. Have a great week!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Good Queen Bess

Let tyrants fear, I have always so behaved myself that, under God, I have placed my chiefest strength and safeguard in the loyal hearts and good-will of my subjects; and therefore I am come amongst you, as you see, at this time, not for my recreation and disport, but being resolved, in the midst and heat of the battle, to live and die amongst you all; to lay down for my God, and for my kingdom, and my people, my honour and my blood, even in the dust. I know I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman; but I have the heart and stomach of a king, and of a king of England too, and think foul scorn that Parma or Spain, or any prince of Europe, should dare to invade the borders of my realm; to which rather than any dishonour shall grow by me, I myself will take up arms, I myself will be your general, judge, and rewarder of every one of your virtues in the field. (Elizabeth I, Speech to the troops at Tilbury).

One cannot read this without being moved and inspired by her words! Planning to watch Cate Blanchett in Elizabeth again this weekend, one of my favorite films. So glad it's Friday, it has been the week from hell.....! 

Queens Don't Make Bargains

So Alekha came home from school the other day to tell me that a boy in her class called her "fat" but then also called her "skimpy". Of course, my natural defensive Mommy instinct was "WTF?!" and I was very annoyed. But I was very proud of the way she handled the situation, she told me she didn't let it bother her and she ignored him. I then proceeded to tell her that sometimes, nine-year-old boys are mean because they just don't know better. Sometimes it's because they secretly want the nine-year-old girl's attention. And sometimes it's because they are just acting out. But I was proud of her because there have been occasions where people have said unkind things about her height (calling her a "giant") that have made her cry, and I've repeatedly told her that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of her - that's unimportant. What matters is what she knows to be true of herself. It then made me realize that someday, it's likely that she will get her heart broken by someone. And though I can't protect her from it, I daresay it will make her a stronger person. And I realize that one of the most important lessons I can teach my daughter about being a strong woman is to never forget her inner Queen. Queens don't make bargains, Queens don't run after a man who is walking in the opposite direction, Queens walk always with their head held high. Queens epitomize grace. Queens don't necessarily need a king, either. (Elizabeth I comes to mind!) For now, I'll start with her princess training. I can tell already that she has the makings of a fine Queen....

 

 

Pushkin: i loved you

photo from Spearmint Decor

 

I Loved You, by Aleksandr Pushkin

I loved you; and perhaps I love you still

The flame, perhaps, is not extinguished yet.

It burns so quietly within my soul

No longer should you feel distressed by it.

Silently and hopelessly I loved you

At times too jealous and at times too shy.

God grant you find another who will love you

As tenderly and truthfully as I.

A Love Story

All images below credited to Madam Pince's Tumblr which was a delightful discovery. Enjoy!

 

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Vintage Image - Kitten with Teacup

Here's my promised image for the week... the first one is the original "Bonne Fete" postcard. Click on each  image to save and print full size. I removed the text on the second one with the clone tool in PS. I added a Valentine message on the third one in case you want to use it as a Valentine card. Enjoy!

 

The key to a happy relationship...

Grumble. It has occurred to me that I am the only person in my house who knows how to change a roll of toilet paper. It's not rocket science, people!! It doesn't matter that in one of the bathrooms, there was a new multi-pack of toilet paper sitting just by the toilet. No one had bothered to even open the package, let alone take a new roll out and replace it onto the empty spindle. In another bathroom, a half-used roll of toilet paper sat on the counter, just inches away from the spindle. Apparently, the effort of removing it from its packaging was so exhausting, that there was no energy left over to see that it made its way onto the spindle. It's just the sort of thing that causes me to pause after the exertion of a rigorous morning session of toilet paper replacement, in no less than three bathrooms, and ponder what would happen, if just for fun, I packed my bags and upped and left for a two month excursion to Kathmandu, just to see if anyone would replace the toilet paper roll in my absence. I have a feeling the unopened multipack of toilet paper would still be there to greet me, two months later. 

After reflecting on the institution of marriage for over 17 years, it's begun to dawn on me that it's not the big things that count in maintaining a happy balance in relationships. At the end of the day, religion, politics and money all take the backseat to the lesser matters of the day - which, as it turns out, is the toilet paper.

I was intrigued when a friend (who happens to be Christian) told me that she and her spouse underwent a pre-marital interview with their pastor at their church, to ensure that they were compatible, and to have the blessings of the church to proceed with their holy union. Sure, they've been married for 14 years now, but I couldn't help but wonder if they tackled the bigger issue of toilet-paper-roll-changing etiquette at the pre-marital interview. I am thinking probably not, as she tends to complain about the same issues that I do. Her spouse works in the financial sector, but really, it doesn't matter - I know of physicists and mechanical engineers who are mystified and daunted by the prospect of changing a roll of toilet paper.

Having had a Hindu marriage ceremony myself, I can't help but feel I missed out on the telling pre-marital interview, though it's hard to imagine my Sanskrit-chanting, bare-chested, cotton dhoti-clad priest, with his limited command of English, conducting a pre-marital interview to ensure compatibility. But you can be sure if I ever get married again, I'll interview the candidate myself!

What sort of questions should be asked at a pre-marital interview? Certainly, it's important to cover the issues on how the couple will manage money, their religious beliefs, their roles in the relationship, their ideas on child rearing, at what temperature the thermostat should be set, etc. But let's face it, none of the answers to the aforementioned even matter, if they don't share similar beliefs on toilet-paper-roll-changing etiquette.

Therefore, I have constructed a short sample questionnaire which I will be sure to send, along with a letter of recommendation that these questions be added to the existing set of pre-marital interview questions posed to those hopeful, happy couples presenting for the Lord's blessings, to the heads of the major churches in the United States: Roman Catholic, Episcopalian, Lutheran, Methodist, Baptist, Eastern Orthodox, Anglican, Mormon, etc.

It is my firm belief that these questions should be mandatory and posed in a pre-marital interview session, for all couples, regardless of faith or creed:

1) Do you even check before you sit down to use the facilities, whether the toilet paper has depleted on the roll?

a) yes ----> Good choice! Move on to the next question!
b) no ------> Wrong answer. Check with your optometrist as to whether you need glasses.

2) What is your response when you see that the toilet paper has depleted on the roll?

a) I immediately check my well-stocked pantry and get a roll of Charmin (the extra-fluffy kind that my spouse likes), and replace it like the grown-ass man (or woman) that I am, with an air of responsibility and accomplishment.
b) I holler for someone to get me some toilet paper, while attempting to use the two remaining squares that are sticking to the cardboard.
c) I grab a tissue from the box of tissues on the counter, instead.
d) What toilet paper??

3) The correct placement for the toilet paper is:

a) on the spindle, positioned so that the paper rolls under, not over.
b) on the spindle, positioned so that the paper rolls over, not under
c) on the sink, floor or anywhere close enough to grab.
d) what toilet paper?

4) The correct position for the toilet seat after I've used the facilities is:
a) down
b) up

If you and your prospective spouse answered all a's, you get a diploma in Advanced Toilet Paper Roll Changing Etiquette from me, and you have my blessings to marry, knowing that you can confidently navigate any rough waters ahead since you've dealt with the far weightier matters!

In the event that you are one of those unfortunate souls who is already married to someone who has failed the quiz above, then you will want to gently direct him or her to this insightful and informative how-to article from e-How, which is very helpful in the instruction of changing the toilet paper roll. Just smile very sweetly and tell them it's in the interest of retaining your marital bliss. After all, we all have to learn, SOME time!

 

And even though you want to, just try to never grow up...

                                          Illustration by Mandy Sutcliffe of Belle and Boo




Dear Alekha,

You've grown so much this year. Not just physically, though you've certainly shot up in height, and are just a few inches shorter than me. I see the growth that is taking place inside you as well: mentally, emotionally, spiritually and in many other ways. In nothing else have I been so fortunate in life as in having been given the gift that is you. Childhood is fleeting, and I try to make the most of every day with you. Some days I come home tired and exhausted, and wishing I could do more for you. But I do the best I can, and I know you will always know how much I love you. 

Seeing the changes that are taking place every day makes me want to hang on to these days, and hold them in the palm of my hands forever. But as I know that cannot happen, I want to atleast journal and document some of the  changes I've witnessed:

You're growing into a beautiful young girl (inside and out). As your own mother, I shouldn't be the one to say it, but looking at you takes my breath away.

You started gymnastics this year. At 5'4", you tower over all the other petite girls, much like your mother did when I was your age. But you lack nothing in grace, and I can see your confidence building with each new thing you learn.

You've expressed a desire to play soccer, so we'll start that this year as well. I'm thrilled that you're finally showing interest in sports!

You love to read, and your favorite pastime is spending hours reading books. Your reading program at school requires you to read 500 pages every nine weeks. At this point the total requirement for the school year so far has been 1500 pages. You've already logged over 12,000 pages! You enjoyed the Lemony Snicket series and are constantly reading multiple books at the same time.

You spent a whole weekend researching Native Americans and doing a written report to turn in to Mrs. Conley - just because you wanted to! It was your idea, it wasn't assigned as a homework project, but you showed such initiative in doing this extra work. I was so proud of you!

You spend hours with your friends listening to your favorite band (One Direction) and you have a crush on Niall. 

You really truly believe that girls can do anything boys can do!

You stand up for yourself and for others when you witness someone being treated unfairly - so proud of you!

You are very sensitive to the needs of others - something I love about you!

You love telling me things you learned at school - explaining photosynthesis, chemical reactions and things you learn about the Native Americans. Your vocabulary has improved even though you make me smile at times with your usage (you asked me what happens when someone goes into a "comma", and I couldn't help but giggle when I explained that it was a "coma", not a "comma").

Your best friends are Rachel, Mattie and Lauren - you text Rachel a lot. You and Lauren are frequent playmates and you make up dances, sing out loud to One Direction, make homemade videos of each other, have fashion shows and generally enjoy being girls!

You have a burgeoning sense of fashion which is different from mine! You love clothes and accessories from Justice and lean towards bright neon colors and wild animal prints.

The years you spent in private school at Ecole Francaise made you a sensitive and loving child, particularly around children younger than you. You love your cousins and are loving and caring when three year old Vishnu follows you around everywhere.

You need your "me" time just like Mommy - and you spend it doing projects, arts and crafts, reading, listening to music, or painting your nails. 

You are a homebody and prefer staying at home to going anywhere.

You enjoy being a girl scout, even though we have to push you out the door to scout meetings.

Your favorite snack is hot chocolate and popcorn during a movie.Your favorite movie right now is Despicable Me. You quote from it frequently.

You love Friday night pizza night and love Donato's pizza with sausage. Your favorite breakfast is chocolate chip pancakes, made by Mom on Saturday mornings.

You love your Goldendoodle Murphy like a sibling and take good care of him.

You still love having Mommy read you bedtime stories and tucking you in with a glass of warm milk.

You just started sleeping in your own bed, after seven years of sleeping with Mommy in her bed. That was bittersweet for me - I miss cuddling you at bedtime, but know that I have to let you grow up.... even though I can't help but want to say to you....