Some thoughts on friendship and mid-life...

Today I spoke to a dear friend who I had lost touch with. She went to college with me and was there for me at an inordinately dark time in my life. Though she was from Pakistan, and I from India, (two countries who have historically been pitted against each other in enmity), our connection as women and as humans transcended any recognition of that. We learned and laughed and cried together. She came from an educated, cultured family, and her father had been politically murdered in Pakistan, thus resulting in her relocation to the U.S. at age 18. She was a brilliant student - eventually getting her masters degree in Political Science and Public Policy. She moved to D.C., then married a Dutch university professor and had a child. Within a year of having the baby, her husband left her for another woman. That was nearly four years ago. But something extraordinary happened - she found herself, and found, that now, in her thirties - she is happier than she has ever been in her life, in the life she has made for herself, with her son. We spoke of how extraordinary it is when we think of the women we were in our twenties, and how very different we are in our thirties. We are stronger, more resilient, independent, happy with our choices and our decisions, we have really come into our own element and in touch with what is important and necessary for happiness and for the nurturing of our souls.

So that when I think of women entering their late thirties, 40s, or even 50s, -- and if you are one of those women who will celebrate a 40-ish birthday with me this year, I hope that you will celebrate that number with me, whatever that number is. I hope that you will celebrate being a woman who has faced life and lived extraordinarily, and not worry about the grey hairs and the laugh lines. I hope you will embrace how beautiful you are in your maturity -- you are ---- SO very beautiful on the inside and the outside too. And I hope you will celebrate this season of your life - whatever season it may be. Nature transforms all living things beautifully, even in the very winter of life. And I hope you will celebrate the friendships you share with other women, for it is through these soul connections that we realize our interconnectedness to each other and to humanity, at large.

The most beautiful discovery that true friends can make is that they can grow separately without growing apart."
- Unknown

Comments

[MaryS.]

Oh gosh! What a beautiful post today! I'm right there with you (39 in Oct), I so wish I could teach my 3 girls about how things change from your 20s to your 30s. Lots of changes in my life the last 4 years - and I am also in the happiest time of my life ever. Your words capture this beautifully.... kudos to your friend as well!

[Alisa N.]

You are so right about it all. I will hit 38 this year and I have really discovered myself these past 6-7 years. I don't know that I've ever been this happy and content with who I am. Thanks for a great post.

[Helen]

We've all earned every one of the thoes gray hairs and worked hard for every last laugh line. I agree, it's time to embrace them.

Fabulous post Ranjini, a huge congrats to your friend for finding peace in the tumult.

[Jan]

Ranjini ~ What a lovely post. Relating to your post as an early 50"ish" woman ~ I can truly say it just gets better with age. I am comfortable in my skin and I have a peace and contentment that I have never had before. I don't feel 51 and I sure don't act my age either :) Thanks for sharing your story!
Jan

[Laura McCann]

I love your post Ranjini!! I am 38 and I've grown dramatically in my 30's. And I adore the quote at the bottom!! Love it!

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