A couple more cards...

Mornings are tough. I am constantly playing the role of cheerleader, policewoman, logistics coordinator, comforter, life coach, psychologist, and cook all in one. Alekha has been prone to lots of tears these days -- about anything and everything. This morning it was the fact that we wouldn't permit her to watch tv while eating breakfast, a practice I am ashamed to say I had allowed on prior occasions and then we'd all be dashing madly to get out of the house when 8 am rolled around. Then it was the fact that we wouldn't let her take a shower in the morning (I had popped her in the shower the night before versus the usual bath and she found it to be a great novelty which naturally, she expected we'd let her repeat at 7:45 am). When I got her to calm herself finally, the tears began because "everyone else's Mommies pick them up early and I always have to be picked up late" (not true - but trying to rationalize with her at 7:50 am in a calm manner was a huge challenge!) This, followed by the fact that I wouldn't take the time to find the jacket she wanted to wear instead of the one she had on. By the time I finally got her and Bobby out of the door, my nerves were a frazzled mess but I can honestly say I got through the morning rush without hollering, which I hate doing. I really, really, hate raising my voice to her.

I have been reading a book on parenting called Parking Lot Rules: 75 Other Ideas for Raising Amazing Children by Tom Sturges, and though I have found some really wonderful insights and advice, I noted the author has two boys - and I can't help but think that boys are completely different, aren't they? Correct me if it's not true, but I just haven't seen the boys I know (my sisters' kids) launch into the bouts of long crying that my baby girl does. Sigh. I am praying for patience. Lots more of it. Nonetheless, I recommend the book. It has some great ideas - like whispering - instead of yelling, to get your child's attention. Getting close to their face and telling them in a whisper that their behavior disappointed you, instead of hollering at the top of your lungs. (Tried that one, and it worked!)

We tried something new this evening. I made a chart and told her that I would be watching and expecting her to make good choices, and that when she does err - she'll have a chance to rectify it, if she doesn't then we'll mark an X on the chart; after a certain number of X's, she will lose a privilege or have something she loves taken away for a while. The idea seemed to work because shortly after her bath this evening, she started crying about something and when I reminded her that if she was going to continue, I'd have to place an X on the chart, she stopped on her own volition, to my relief! The book actually says not to be so hasty to stop them from crying - and certainly, I think we all need a good cry now and then, but it doesn't say anything about constant crying, for (what I perceive to be) the most inconsequential things!

Anyway, thanks for listening to me pour my heart out - I love her so and want to be the best parent I can possibly be -- I am not always as patient as I should be -- and I constantly wish for the patience my mother has and had with us as children - she was always truly gentle and loving to us.

I had a chance to work on a few cards last night after bundling her into bed. These are all mostly new Melissa Frances product - from the Attic Treasures and Fresh Twist Collections. Love the new pink polka dotty diecut paper. I also used a new Fresh Twist sticker, a ticket from the Girl Stuff Ticket Book, This card is a Mother's Day Card and it would be neat I thought to use the front part as a pocket - you can tuck a gift card or a photo into the front pocket for Mom and then write a message on the inside of the card. The green polka dotty ribbon is from the Fresh Twist Page Kit. The rubons and chipboard star are also from MF.

 

This second one is a baby boy card, using again the Fresh Twist and Attic Treasures papers, plus Melissa Frances stickers. The mint green lace is from Prima. And check out the gorgeous gems on these cards - they are from Melissa's new Vintage Attic Treasures. I added some mint seam binding and a vintage button and crystal stick pin. And the diecut star is from the new Fresh Twist Label Diecuts. Thanks for stopping by, and hang in there, it's almost Friday!

Oh, and here are a few vintage images for you:

 

Comments

[debi @ life in my studio]

Having raised 3 boys and 1 girl, I can honestly tell you that raising 3 boys is easier than raising 1 girl! Girls can be just as loud as boys, and they can also be tempermental, sassy, snotty, whiny, etc. etc.
Moving on...your cards are beautiful!! I love the papers and that pretty pink flower!
And thank you for the pretty images. I just love your blog!
Debi

[~amy~]

Oh my goodness...your cards are gorgeous...I absolutely adore your style...thanks {again} for the fabulous images too. Ahhh yes, the differences between boys and girls...I have 1 of each and they couldn't be more different...I tend to agree alot about birth order too...although I don't fit the stereotypical "youngest child" theory :)

Happy Friday!!

[Melanie K.]

I have three boys ... and my oldest is DRAMA KING ... boy, he can turn on the water works when he wants to! My middle one is in the terrible threes, so his crying fits consist of throwing things and kicking. My youngest is only 8 months ... so he does still cry. Hang in there ... and I will hang with ya! ;)
Your cards are exquisite! The boy one is .... out of this world ... I love that blue button off that ribbon .... I would love that card!

[Tina]

GORGEOUS cards!!! I love the flower on the Mother's Day card!

(((hugs))) on the tough Mama times.

[Jan Olson]

Ranjini,
Don't be so hard on yourself. You are a wonderful mother but we can't be perfect. We are only human too. Having raised 2 daughters and helping raise my 4 1/2 year old granddaughter ~ girls can be a roller coaster ride. Hang on is right :) Just know ~ mine turned out great, and your precious daughter will too! Love your creations today. Thank you for the images. Jan

[Jan Olson]

I had to come back and post again. When my girls were little and they were having a little "spell" ~ my dear english Mum would say to me ~ "this too shall pass". She was right. Jan

[Alisa]

Beautiful cards!

As a former Pre-K teacher, I think your chart is a great idea. You might want to incorporate gold stars or something similar. When she does goes a whole day (you may need to start with smaller time frames) without any episodes, put a star on her chart. When she has so many stars (predetermined number) she gets a reward of some kind.

[alekhasmommy]

Thanks Alisa - that is a fantastic idea. Believe it or not -- SHE suggested that to me. She said - Mommy can we do a chart for when I am good? LOL! I always make the distinction though that she is always GOOD, it's her choices that are not always good choices.

[alekhasmommy]

Thansk so much for your kind comments Melanie - and wow I am surprised that boys can have a drama component too! I guess they are all wired in some way to drive us parents crazy, but we love them so anyway!

[mary]

hello, ranjini:) this is so ironic simply because i was googling information on my 7 year old son's behavior right before i came to your blog! i'm not sure how old alekha is...but i can tell you about a wonderful (albeit "dated") series of books that i have turned to again and again with my two sons. this series is wonderful in that it is very insightful into the "whys" of behavior - there is always a reason that children act the way they do, always! they are just like us in that they are motivated by certain feelings and fears - and this changes with their developmental stages. i worked for several years in child psychology, and i am a passionate child advocate...so why am i recommending a "dated" book? simply because the information about the child's behavior and development is very insightful and detailed; and that is really the part that i need. there is some rather comical stereotyping because these were written in the 50s, but if you can just take the "recommendations" with a grain of salt, understanding the times - it will not bother you, i think. anyway - i am going to link you to an excerpt of the book i was just googling and you can see what you think! http://www.amazon.com/reader/0440506506?%5Fencoding=UTF8&ref%5F=sib%5Fdp%5Fptu#reader
i have most of this series, and much prefer them over a lot of the more recent books...i am sorry if i wrote a book here, but i hope this will be helpful:)