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Fitness Photo Journal - Conclusion

It's been a long journey, but I am happy to say I did it! I reached my weight loss goal of 135 lbs mid March.  I've learned so much about myself along the way.

I've learned that I am more resilient, stronger and more determined at 44 than I was at 24.

I've learned that it is unrealistic to expect that I can return to my 24 year old self, and that I can celebrate my curvy hips and the little pooch of fat on my stomach that I've made peace with. I've realized that these are marks of womanhood, of motherhood, and that there are genetics at play that we cannot change, no matter how we may try. And that's okay.

I've learned about how to eat for health. And I've learned that there is a time to indulge as well - so yes, I will go and have a celebratory bowl of Jeni's salted caramel ice cream as a treat, thank you!

I've learned that I am an athlete (!) I am running at a speed of 6.0 for 30 minutes straight. I am lifting weights, in spinning classes, doing circuit training and exercises to strengthen my core. 

I've learned not to be daunted by even the most overwhelming of goals - just about anything you want to accomplish in life can be done if you break it apart into pieces and take it a step at a time!

I've learned that there is no adversity that I cannot handle, that I am stronger than I thought, braver than I believed, and more resilient than I expected.

I've learned to walk into the gym when I am feeling tired, exhausted, and emotionally spent, and yet, replace all of that with a single thought when I start running: "Bring it!"

I've learned that running takes me to a place where I feel free, at peace, and powerful.

I've learned to love the muscled curves of my body and to be proud of every last moment of sweat and toil it took to get me there.

I've learned that getting to 135 was never about 135 being my ideal weight, it was about me accomplishing a goal I set for myself and knowing that I was able to do it. So if I go up or down 5 pounds on the scale - it doesn't matter. What matters is that I am consistently making healthy dietary choices, that I am in oxygen as often as I can be and making fitness a regular part of my life.

And finally, I've learned that I don't want to go back to being my 24 year old self, that I would not trade two decades of wisdom and the satisfaction of being a confident, happy and independent woman for my 24 year old body.

So if you've been with me each step of the way - thank you for sharing in my journey and for your support! Here is the photo update; hope you had a happy easter! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Purdah I, by Imtiaz Dharker

 

Purdah I, by Imtiaz Dharker | Illustration by Alessandro Gottardo

Purdah I
One day they said
she was old enough to learn some shame.
She found it came quite naturally.

Purdah is a kind of safety.
The body finds a place to hide.
The cloth fans out against the skin

much like the earth falls
on coffins after they put the dead men in.

People she has known
stand up, sit down as they have always done.

But they make different angles
in the light, their eyes aslant,
a little sly.

She half-remembers things
from someone else’s life,
Perhaps from yours, or mine –

carefully carrying  what we do not own:
between the thighs, a sense of sin.

We sit still, letting the cloth grow
a little closer to our skin.
A light filters inward
through our bodies’ walls.

Voices speak inside us,
echoing in the spaces we have just left.

She stands outside herself,
sometimes in all four corners of a room.

Wherever she goes, she is always
inching past herself,
as if she were a clod of earth
and the roots as well,
scratching for a hold
between the first and second rib.

Passing constantly out of her own hands
into the corner of someone else’s eyes…

while doors keep opening
inward and again
inward.