scrapologie

beginnings and endings

Hello, friends. I've been absent for over a year, for a number of reasons. My life has changed dramatically over the course of a year. Here's a quick update of things that have happened in 2014: 

I accepted a new position as a Learning and Performance Consultant with my employer in April and started my new role in May. Not only was this a considerable promotion for me, but it also was the dream job which I had been working to achieve for nearly a year prior to receiving the offer. I was blessed to find a wonderful, intelligent and caring mentor who helped me position myself for an interview and subsequently a job offer. It is an understatement to say I love my job. I wake up with a smile on my face every morning and realize what a difference it makes when you are engaged in work that is meaningful and relevant. I have a dream job, dream boss and a dream team of co-workers. I couldn't be more grateful for the blessings I have received! 

Along with this wonderful new beginning, there were also many endings. I separated from my spouse of twenty years in May. I will attest that marriages can, in fact, end gracefully with mutual respect and friendship. We are at peace and remain friends for the sake of our daughter, but also because we are both just good human beings at the core of our existence. A lot of people don't get this. They don't understand why we will continue to celebrate Christmas together, or vacation together for the sake of our child, so that she grows up understanding that though her parents are no longer married, and though they are no longer in love, they can treat each other with respect and dignity. At the end of the day, they love each other as human beings, and for what they were able to learn from one another. I don't expect everyone to get that. And that's okay.

There were other endings - one that was unbelievably tough for me. In August, my older sister passed away very unexpectedly, leaving three motherless sons and a grieving family. Her death brought into focus the fragility of life and how short our time is on earth. It made me resolve to live life fully, with gratitude each and every day. It made me resolve to embrace every relationship and to choose happiness and kindness above everything. I think about her often and I know her spirit is present. 

In August, I was also accepted to the graduate program (MS in Instructional Design and Performance Technology) at Franklin University. I started the program and with two classes under my belt and a 4.0 average, I am very proud of my accomplishments. It isn't easy holding down a full time job, being a single parent, going to school and making the A's I should have gotten as an undergraduate student. But I am proof that it can be done. I was once told that I would never make it into graduate school and there was no point even trying with my lackluster undergraduate performance. I was told that no credible program would accept me. WRONG. Every person deserves a second chance. Everyone who falls deserves a chance to get up again and fly. Don't ever let the naysayers bring you down - if you listen to them long enough, you start to believe their negativity. 

Shortly before Christmas, Alekha asked me to give her photos of the two of us together so she could make a handmade Christmas present for me. I struggled to find photos of the two of us together. There were countless photos I had taken of her alone, in my quest to document her life, and many of Alekha with her daddy. I then found the photo below of the two of us at her birthday party last summer. I realized I need to take more photos with her - so she remembers her childhood, in the Summer and Autumn of her own life, and she remembers that she had a mother who loved her wildly. The picture below is not perfect, but I love it - because in it, I see how much I love her, and how much I love being her mother. There is nothing more important, satisfying or meaningful to me than my love for her and the time we spend together.

I'm still in a whirlwind of activity, and will be for the next year and a half, but I wouldn't have my life any other way right now. I continue to make memories for and with my daughter, and above all, I strive to live my life with grace. 

Happy 2015 to you, dear friend. Wishing you peace, love that knows no walls, and grace in everything you do. Let your light shine from within. 

Love,

Ranjini

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hello friends...

 

 

Hello friends, I've missed blogging and making art, but I never stop thinking about both. I've been exceptionally busy this year. I hope you've been well. For me, this has mostly been a year of learning to balance home, work, motherhood, friendships and health while still taking time to pursue some of my interests. Here are some of the things I've been up to this year:

- Work has amped up busier than ever. I've been meeting regularly with three mentors at work and have been researching a career change while maintaining my current job. Recently, my employer agreed to finance my masters degree, for which I am so very grateful!

- As a result of the above, I've applied for the graduate program in Instructional Design and Performance Technology at Franklin University and plan to start coursework this January.

- I was selected for my employer's regional Diversity and Inclusion Council, promoting cultural and diversity themed events at my company, in the capacity of an event coordinator. This has been immensely rewarding for me; I've been able to help promote diversity awareness and educate our workforce about the importance of embracing diversity. Our world is changing, and with it, our attitudes and the way in which we view those who are different from us must change as well, if we are to succeed in working together to build a better future for generations to come.

- My little girl turned 10 this year. She's been very busy herself with her own activities. She reads voraciously, has been involved in gymnastics, Girl Scouts and Kumon, and was one of 6 girls from her school selected by OSU's Women In Engineering for their Jasz Bots program which is affiliated with First Lego League. This team of fifth grade girls meet with female grad students in OSU's engineering department twice a week, for two and a half hours after school. Together, they have researched a topic on FLL's theme this year (Nature's Fury) and are working on ideas and ways to combat their chosen environmental disaster (wildfires). In addition, they have built and programmed a Lego robot; the team will compete utilizing their robot at an upcoming event in December. It's a great introduction for girls to a potential future career in engineering.

- I've continued my commitment to fitness and nutrition, continuing to hit the gym 5 nights a week, both cardio as well as weights/resistance training and core exercises.

- I've become very interested in organic foods and natural wellness products, as well as meditation and wellness in general.

- I've connected with old friends and made several new ones. I have enjoyed the fulfillment brought by these relationships, and particularly by doing for and helping others when I can, as I am grateful for the love and help they constantly give me.

- I made some time for fun as well, traveling to Orlando and Disney with Alekha in mid-October, during Epcot's Food and Wine Festival. We also got to visit the Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal Studios, which Alekha and I both loved!

- I've continued my pursuit of photography, though I haven't had time to sit down and edit photos!

- I spent some quality time with my parents, who I love dearly and are slowing down a bit.

- Lastly, I spent a lot of time in quiet reflection and introspection, pondering the life I'd like to lead, the things I have yet to do, the places I've yet to see and the memories I have yet to make.

I am happy, and life has been good. I do miss blogging and keeping in touch with all my online friends, but think of you all frequently, and wish you all happiness and peace. I am looking forward to what 2014 brings.

“...I want first of all - in fact, as an end to these other desires - to be at peace with myself. I want a singleness of eye, a purity of intention, a central core to my life that will enable me to carry out these obligations and activities as well as I can. I want, in fact - to borrow from the language of the saints -to live 'in grace' as much of the time as possible. I am not using this term in a strictly theological sense. By grace I mean an inner harmony, essentially spiritual, which can be translated into outward harmony...”
(Anne Morrow Lindbergh)

Much Love,

Ranjini

 

 

 

A Love Story

All images below credited to Madam Pince's Tumblr which was a delightful discovery. Enjoy!

 

-1-

 

-2-

 

-3-

 

-4-

 

 

-5-

 

 

-6-

 

 

-7-

 

 

-8-

 

 

-9-

 

 

-10-

 

 

-11-

 

 

-12-

 

 

 

-13-

 

 

-14-

 

 

-15-

 

 

-16-

 

 

-17-

 

 

Self-Portrait Photography

Sharing a few additional photos I took yesterday with the cell phone camera. I usually don't get good shots with the cell phone, so I am pleased at how these turned out; I did run some PS actions on them but had good base shots to start with, courtesy of the ample natural light in my bedroom. You can find good information on taking better self-portraits here, on Elsie's blog. She has some great tips as well as posing suggestions. I've never been entirely comfortable with sharing photos of myself, but I'm trying to get over that, and figuring the more photos I take, the more I'll get used to it.

I was lying down in all of these photos. I found that lying on the bed helped me to stabilize the camera as I was able to keep my body perfectly still. There's a bit too much light from the window that I was unable to underexpose in this first shot, but it does have a sort of cool, artsy vibe to it, nonetheless.

 

This one is my favorite. The lighting is near perfect. For this pose, I had one hand tucked under my chin and the other arm straight out holding the camera (that's why the photo is cropped -- to eliminate the photo-taking arm).

 

A little iffy about this one. Looks like I am in a cave with a flashlight on my face, but I was determined to share it anyway!

 

This unintentionally came out looking like a 1930s Greta Garbo pose! Looks like I'm hanging upside down off the bed, but I was, in fact, lying flat, with the camera held straight overhead.

You can also find great photography resources on Pinterest by doing a search for photography. You'll find lots and lots of photog boards with great tips and links to some very helpful photography sites.

Thanks for letting me share, and have a good weekend!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fitness Photojournal - Update

I'm happy to say that despite two days of nonstop holiday cookie baking for work and Alekha's class at school, I was able to get through the holidays without indulging in even one cookie (no easy feat!), and my regimen at the gym of working out 5-6 nights a week has continued. I've had a minor setback - I think I pulled a muscle in my inner thigh possibly from the abductor/adductor resistance workout I love to do, but more likely from running, I think. My speed has increased to 5.5, but this week I've had to rest a few days because of the muscle pull. It's aggravating, but I suppose I have to get used to it and learn how to moderate my exercise, I'd been going pretty hard for about six months now. The good news is that I am at 142 pounds, seven pounds away from my goal of 135. It's taking longer now for the weight to come off because I am also building muscle. Nonetheless, clothes are fitting well, I feel great and I'm happy with my progress. And I'm sleeping like a baby!

Here's the most recent photo, taken today. Tip on taking photos of yourself when you don't have another photographer nearby: for this one, I just laid down on my bed which is situated near a window, it allowed for all the natural light you see illuminating my face. This was taken midday and it's fairly sunny outside; I had the blinds drawn but the slats were opened for diffuse natural light to come through. I'll try and post some more photos later, and incidentally, this one was taken with my cell phone camera...

 

 

 

 

Hold close the ones you love.

The news of the shooting at the school in Connecticut has been on my mind for the last few days, and reminds me to cherish every moment with my little one. The light of an innocent life can be put out so unexpectedly and quickly. My heart goes out to every victim of that tragedy. Gather your loved ones and hold them close, for they are what truly matters. When it comes down to it, love is all there is. Love is everything. 

Sharing a video of my own little one's first year of life. I've been feeling nostalgic for her baby days and seeing this video reminds me even more of what a precious gift our children are, they are truly blessings placed in our arms by heavenly angels. Peace to you and yours.

Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening...

So we stopped by the "woods" (well, the park, actually); and it wasn't evening, and it wasn't snowing... but it had been awhile since I had done a photoshoot of Alekha, and I had to dust off the old camera so I could get some holiday-card-worthy pics! At times, I think I should dress her in bright colors for these shoots, but somehow, I am drawn to a more subdued color palette - I think the softer colors lend themselves to more beautiful photos with a dream-like quality that I haven't been able to duplicate with bright colors. The light blue cotton gingham check blouse is a favorite of mine - it's from the Danish design label Mini A Ture and though it was a summer top, she hadn't had a chance to wear it all summer. I thought the colors would be perfect against the backdrop of the blue-green fir trees in the woods. I also realized that next time, I need to do her nails (chipped polish visible on one of the photos) plus I need to make sure she is wearing coordinating hair bands - she picked one green and one pink, and I had to change the band colors on a few of the pics manually. She is always happy to oblige, knowing that she is getting paid by Mama for her modelling sessions, and enjoys the pocket money which she inevitably spends on books or art supplies (the apple doesn't fall far from the tree!) Looking at these photos, it's hard to believe she is only nine. She is growing up so fast. Sigh.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A letter to my daughter

Dear Alekha,

All mothers are excited about the birth of a baby, but I want you to know that I waited for you for what seemed like an eternity. There were long childless years without you, years when I gazed with a heart full of longing at the chubby, rosy cheeked babies that I encountered everywhere. When you arrived, my heart was filled to bursting. I had always read about the love that happens to a woman after the birth of a child, and had often imagined what it would be like. I was ill-prepared for the onslaught of maternal love and the fierce protectiveness that you brought on. I was prepared to slay dragons for you, and felt that I could singlehandedly decimate anyone who tried to harm you.

Nine years have passed since that blissful first year of your birth, and the feelings have not disappeared, but only gotten stronger. You make me laugh at the things you say, you amaze me with your creativity and intelligence, you humble me with your kind, selfless nature, you overwhelm me with your love, and you make me realize that if I accomplish nothing else in life, it matters little, because you are my greatest work of art.

You used to worry that a younger brother or sister would diminish the love I have for you, and I always assured you that could never happen. I always told you that the miraculous thing about love is this: the more you give away, the more you create. You must have finally learned that lesson, for lately, you've been asking for a little sister and don't understand when I tell you it's unlikely that would happen at this point. You asked me today if I was happy that I only had one child. I hugged you in response and told you that I couldn't be happier with the gifts God has given me. Yes, I am happy to have this one child, and I am happy that child is you.

 

Life is But a Dream Photo Shoot

I had been planning this photo shoot for awhile and we awoke this morning to the most glorious day Columbus has seen in some months now. I simply had to take photos!

I packed up some props, and Alekha and I headed to our local park for this photo shoot. I knew I wanted it to have a summery, tea party theme - but very vintage-y and innocent, reminiscent of the innocence of childhood. It was inspired by the poem "Life Is But A Dream" by Lewis Carroll. The spot we chose to lay out our picnic was perfect - a small grouping of trees on the bank of the lake at the park. And the light was absolutely magical today. Love it when that happens!

I can't post this photoshoot without mentioning the actions I used. I love the actions at Paint The Moon, and most of these use PTM actions, but I've also used a few from M4H (My Four Hens). Annie at Paint the Moon has a great blog with loads of photography tips if you're just getting started or even if you've been at it for awhile.

I also wanted to mention that my inspiration came after months of following Skye Hardwick's Blog, Reverie Mine - you must check out her amazing blog - her photos are truly magical, it's easily one of the best children's photography blogs out there. And of course I have to give a shout out to my sweet little model who, tempted with the promise of a picnic and a trip to Barnes & Noble afterward, gave me her best face!

 

A boat, beneath a sunny sky
Lingering onward dreamily
In an evening of July

Children three that nestle near,
Eager eye and willing ear,
Pleased a simple tale to hear

Long has paled that sunny sky;
Echoes fade and memories die;
Autumn frosts have slain July.

Still she haunts me, phantomwise,
Alice moving under skies
Never seen by waking eyes.

Children yet, the tale to hear,
Eager eye and willing ear,
Lovingly shall nestle near.

In a Wonderland they lie,
Dreaming as the days go by,
Dreaming as the summers die;

Ever drifting down the stream
Lingering in the golden gleam
Life, what is it but a dream?

 

......

In the pleasant green garden we sat down to tea;
"Do you take sugar?" and "Do you take milk?"
She'd got a new gown on– A smart one of silk.
We all were so happy, as happy could be,
On that bright Summer's day when she asked us to tea.
~Kate Greenaway

 

......

Are you a princess? I said & she said I'm much more than a princess, but you don't have a name for it yet here on earth. (Brian Andreas)

 

......

Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the bank, and of having nothing to do: once or twice she had peeped into the book her sister was reading, but it had no pictures or conversations in it, `and what is the use of a book,' thought Alice `without pictures or conversation?' (Alice in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll)

......

I know a bank where the wild thyme blows,
Where oxlips and the nodding violet grows,
Quite over-canopied with luscious woodbine,
With sweet musk-roses and with eglantine:
There sleeps Titania sometime of the night,
Lull'd in these flowers with dances and delight;
(Wm Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night's Dream)

......

I had a little tea party, this afternoon at three.
'Twas very small- three guest in all, Just I, myself and me.

Myself ate all the sandwiches,while I drank up the tea;

'Twas also I who ate the pie And passed the cake to me.
~Jessica Nelson North

......

Each fairy breath of summer, as it blows with loveliness, inspires the blushing rose. ~Author Unknown

......

When fate hands you a lemon, make lemonade.
Dale Carnegie

......

Still she haunts me, phantomwise,
Alice moving under skies
Never seen by waking eyes.
(Alice in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll)

......

Though she managed to pick plenty of beautiful rushes as the boat glided by,

there was always a more lovely one that she couldn't reach.

"The prettiest are always further!" she said at last,

with a sigh at the obstinacy of the rushes

in growing so far off. (Lewis Carroll)

......

Sweet childish days, that were as long
As twenty days are now.
~William Wordsworth, "To a Butterfly"

......

Leaving the main stream, they now passed into what seemed at first sight like a little land-locked lake. Green turf sloped down to either edge, brown snaky tree-roots gleamed below the surface of the quiet water, while ahead of them the silvery shoulder and foamy tumble of a weir, arm-in-arm with a restless dripping mill-wheel, that held up in its turn a grey-gabled mill- house, filled the air with a soothing murmur of sound, dull and smothery, yet with little clear voices speaking up cheerfully out of it at intervals. It was so very beautiful that the Mole could only hold up both forepaws and gasp, 'O my! O my! O my!' (Kenneth Grahame, The Wind in the Willows)

......

......

Ever drifting down the stream
Lingering in the golden gleam
Life, what is it but a dream?

......

"Whatever comes," she said, "cannot alter one thing. If I am a princess in rags and tatters, I can be a princess inside. It would be easy to be a princess if I were dressed in cloth of gold, but it is a great deal more of a triumph to be one all the time when no one knows it."
- Frances Hodgson Burnett, A Little Princess

......

Childhood is the most beautiful of all life's seasons. ~Author Unknown

......

“I don't believe in things like that - fairies or brownies or magic or anything. It's old-fashioned.'
'Well, we must be jolly old-fashioned then,' said Bessie. 'Because we not only believe in the Faraway Tree and love our funny friends there, but we go to see them too - and we visit the lands at the top of the Tree as well!”  ― Enid Blyton, The Folk of the Faraway Tree

......

If I was a spider princess, she said, I would spin webs the color of sky & catch drops of sunlight to give to children who watch too much TV & then everyone would remember to come outside to play. If I was a spider princess, she said, things would be different. (Brian Andreas, Story People)

......

Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet

and the winds long to play with your hair. ~Kahlil Gibran

......

“Sometimes, if you stand on the bottom rail of a bridge and lean over to watch the river slipping slowly away beneath you, you will suddenly know everything there is to be known.” (Winnie the Pooh)

......

Look at the trees, look at the birds, look at the clouds, look at the stars...

and if you have eyes you will be able to see that the whole existence is joyful. ~Osho

......

Faeries, come take me out of this dull world,
For I would ride with you upon the wind,
Run on the top of the dishevelled tide,
And dance upon the mountains like a flame.
~William Butler Yeats, "The Land of Heart's Desire," 1894

......

 

North Carolina Photo Shoot

Hope you all had a lovely Thanksgiving holiday. We drove ten hours down and back to Fayetteville, NC where my little sis lives, to spend Thanksgiving with family. She's a fabulous cook and did an outstanding job with the meal. We always try to do a girls outing as well and the two of us and Mom headed to downtown Fayetteville Friday evening for tea at MacDuff's Tea Emporium, and to browse the vendors at the Dickens Christmas Festival going on downtown. I was charmed by downtown Fayetteville, which had lots of interesting architecture, shops and buildings. Loved it so much I had to go back for a photo session with Alekha the next day. We headed there Saturday morning for the photo shoot. Alekha was chewing gum during the shoot and I realized that afterward, as I had several shots with bulging, squirrel like cheeks, lol! Fortunately I got a handful of decent shots. Most of these were edited with actions from Paint the Moon - particularly Serendipity from Fresh Wonderland II, Flirt and Candy Shop from Blessings, and Blue Raspberry and Dreamy Rainbow Tints from Wonderland.  Did you do any Cyber Monday or Black Friday Shopping? I did pick up one of Annie's Texture packages at Paint the Moon, and can't wait to start playing with them. Have a great week!